Sunday, 31 January 2010

Death in the Form of a Gold Mallard

I am suffering with the screaming nadgers and can barely stop myself shaking. As I trudged through the piney woods to call upon the Aged P a horrific sight met my unwary gaze.

A duck! A mallard Duck! As dead as a door knocker and sprayed gold! Suspended in a metal frame between the trees! I cannot bring myself to think upon this further..

Saturday, 30 January 2010

The Iron in the Sole

The iron failed this week. As cold as the dead frog in the pond. Family pretended not to notice that their clothing was as wrinkled and creased as the skin on a deceased amphibian.

Attempted to heat iron in the way of the ancestors on top of the wood stove. But the heat didn't retain enough to smoothen the cloth. Eventually gave in and had to purchase a new one, failing even to find a second hand model in the BHF shop.

Back light fell of my bike again. Slippers come unstuck. Must stop now and mend young Effies only school skirt before it splits to unacceptable level.

Thursday, 21 January 2010

Back to the Blackness

Back from the Black Country yesteday to discover Berry the Black has slaughtered a wren. Young Reuben wandering without wit through the house after midnight with his bedding.

Return from the grind through the dark woods with eerie noises echoing among the gloomy pines. Early in the season for the vixens to yowl.

News is that the old boy has been banned from pottering about the woodland on his four wheeled contraption as he trespassed on anothers' garden.

Monday, 18 January 2010

A Word of Wisdom from the Woods

'If you don't want sawdust on the floor then don' t saw up logs outside the door.'

Lucy tried to catch a mouse in the dark, without success.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

To visit the Aged Parent this afternoon. She questioned me as to the health of my husbands' mother-in-law.

Saturday, 16 January 2010

So this morning went on tidying the goose pen. Noted two dead frogs in the little pond under the hedge. Another sign of nature's futility and waste.

Then to Emma's bridal at noon in the Church of All Saints. Rained thoroughly and the vicar advised the congregation before the match that the churche's facilities comprised a chemical toilet in a garden shed behind the bell tower. Our nuptials may have occured in a plain non-conformist church but we were blessed with adequate sanitation. Noted a white egret in a field near the farm.

The ringers tolled the bell for the wedding and it all passed without a hitch. Took the opportunity on the journey back to purchase some glue to repair my slippers.

The master be afflicted with cramp and young Effie is daubing her face with apple cider vinegar again.

Friday, 15 January 2010

Was nearly midnight when I did recall that the sole of my slipper is hanging loose. Hard to bear the thought of awakening without my slipper to shield me from the chilled floor. Ventured out into the old cowshed to search for glue to repair footwear but failed to find any among the old pots, pans, oil cans, and Suzukis. What to do? May have to hop down stairs in the cold morning light of dawn. God preserve us all.